In my deepest depression, I was in nothing. I did not want to associate with people, felt I was nothing, therefore had nothing to offer. I got up every day because my husband said it was time to get up, not because there was anything that I wanted to do.
The one thing that I did do was spend hours sleeping, either in bed, or on the couch during the afternoon. I ate a lot of empty calories and packed on the pounds, nothing mattered. I didn’t even like the food, it was just hand to mouth, back and forth to fridge and cupboard like I was mindless.
.I would spend hours on You Tube watching the world come to an end over and over and watching other people live their lives via vlogs. I lived my life through other people’s lives. I spent endless hours watching food videos, and watching other people eat. Yes, there is such a thing. It is called Mukbang.
I only came out of this when I saw my psychiatrist and he changed my medication. I only became as best as I am right now when he added a little “booster” pill to what I was taking.
Then, I slowly came back. I began to take an interest in things again, and speak to people and sleep less. I stopped watching meaningless You Tube content and added better things.
I just described what I did, not what you should do. You should try to avoid getting so deep into the depression that you can’t turn it around before it gets this far. My problem is, I let it go too long. I tried to wait for my appointment. I did not want to call the doctor.
Next time I will not wait. I will call him as soon as I feel things slipping again.
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