I mean this nicely, but I don’t even know when I love someone. I love my family, I think, and I think I love the friends that’re practically family for all intents and purposes. But I don’t really know if I love them because no one has been able to give me a good enough explanation of what love feels like for me to be able to compare my feelings and know for sure. I honestly don’t know how anyone knows if they love someone, but I’m told that not-autistic people just seem to know, which is baffling. But I digress.
When I like a person more than normal (meaning I consistently let them see through the many defense mechanisms I’ve put up after going through public school as a card carrying “she’s different” kid – which would be the first indication that I ‘love’ you), I tend to give them more hugs than normal if they’re okay with hugs. I text them more often than normal and respond almost immediately when they text back. I get anxious for them when they run into trouble. I buy them chocolates when they’re in a bad mood or if they’re sick or something, because there is no problem on Earth that chocolate can’t fix and I will fight you on this. I’ll make an effort to provide more emotional and empathetic advice when they come to me with problems, and if their problems are within my ability to fix, by god I will fix them. By this point they usually know I’m autistic, so I also tend to apologize more for the less fun symptoms that rear their head whenever I’m drunk or high or haven’t taken my meds or am just in general having a bad day. Oh, another good indicator is that I trust them/want to be with them enough to actually get intoxicated around them.
In general, if I act more sweet and less ‘normal’ (i.e. more autistic) around you than I do around other people, that’s a good indication that I like you more than most people.
Asma A She is an educationist since 2001 in Children behavior.copy write yourhealthguardian.com